I need your help on how to overcome fear in pregnancy as I’m facing it on a daily basis. I pray and it eases only for a new fear to take its place. I also hear of women who have miscarried or faced other complications and I then fear the same thing happening to me. I don’t want to spend the rest of my pregnancy like this so please help me!
I understand how you feel because there are so many different complications that can occur during pregnancy. Fear can be very real, especially when you are confronted with other peoples opinions or personal experiences. Needless to say, fear is not a good ingredient in pregnancy as it can be controlling and can rob you from enjoying this season in your life.
You might find it comforting however, to know that everyone faces fear in different degrees. We all need to learn how to face and overcome fear at different stages of life. So know you are not alone. The Good News is that you don’t have to submit to or be controlled by fear any longerI God has equipped us in His Word so that you can face and overcome fear not only in your pregnancy but also in every other area. I have listed some things below that helped me and I pray they will continue to help you in your journey. This is not just for pregnancy but can be applied to any other area of life.
1) Remind yourself of what God has revealed to you for this pregnancy! Meditate upon any scriptures or anything else that God has spoken to you. If you feel you don’t have anything like this yet then its not too late. Spend time with Him and time in His Word until peace and revelation come.
2) NEVER look at other peoples personal experiences (whether good or bad)! This is your journey and your circumstances and they can both be unique. So just because someone else experienced something this does not mean that the same will happen to you. Therefore, don’t fall into the trap of presumption or fear. Instead look to Jesus and what He has already done for you!
3) Don’t ignore the Holy Spirit! if you feel you have a genuine concern that the Holy Spirit is revealing to you THEN know He will also reveal the solution! So let Him lead you in what to do etc. This won’t be a fear as such but rather a nagging concern or like a “check in your spirit” where you know something is not right. Follow His leading because while He will warn you of things to come He will also reveal the solution. So don’t let fear rule in this. Jesus will always lead you in peace so if you fall into fear then know that His peace is always freely available to you.
If what you are feeling is just your own fears or concerns then…..
4) Resist Fear and it will flee from you! This is not about mind over matter but about replacing fear with faith. How you can achieve this is by reminding yourself of what God says instead of what your fears are saying. This can be a daily onslaught at first – especially if you take your focus off of what God has spoken to you and you look to the world or to other peoples experiences instead. Simply place your focus back upon Him and continue to renew your mind. Ttake one day at a time and know that you have not failed if you are facing fear. Fear is not bad in and of itself but it is what we do with that fear that determines our frame of mind or outlook.
5) Remember that you are not alone! The very Spirit of God dwells in you and is with you wherever you go! This means that you can tap into His wisdom, understanding, revelation, counsel (solution) and POWER whenever you need it! He is ALWAYS with you and He is ALWAYS looking to show Himself strong to you! So get to know His presence and His leading so that whenever you are faced with fear you can reject it and draw from His peace, comfort and wisdom instead!
6) Don’t look to the root but continue to focus upon the solution! Jesus has paid the price and won the victory for you through the finished work of the Cross! So no matter what sickness, disease or complication you might face or be fearful of in your pregnanacy know that Jesus has already done all the hard work for you. So dont strive towards your breakthrough or labour in your own strength but instead learn how to rest in who Jesus is and upon the fullness of what He has already freely provided for you.
7) Know that God does not show favouritism and He cannot withhold what He has already done through His son! This means that anyone who believes in and rests in Jesus can experience the same outcome!
When you learn how to recognise and follow the Holy Spirit’s leading your life will never be the same again. Don’t be too hard by placing a time limit or unrealistic expectations upon yourself. Simply start afresh by taking one day at a time. It is my prayer that you will overcome all your fears and enjoy every stage of your pregnancy.
YouTube Video – The 7 Spirit’s of God (wisdom, understanding, counsel, might, Knowledge and fear of the Lord)
God’s Plan for Pregnancy Resources – Books, Audio Messages and Videos
Positively Pregnant – 4 Powerful Audio Messages on experiencing God’s Plan for your Pregnancy
Godly Pregnancy Support – New Life Ministries web site
For more information visit: NERIDAWALKER.COM – 2015 Support Meetings.
If you have experienced loss in your life then I pray that this page will be a blessing and encouragement to you.
You can watch this testimony below or scroll down for the written testimony!
Edna and Melvin’s miracle Baby Testimony!
I would like to glorify the name of Jesus through the testimony I am about to share. My husband and I were married in 2003. Prior to marriage we had planned to have a big family, at least 5 children. I remember sitting at a friends bakery one day (just a few months after I got married) and she was telling me about losing her pregnancies. I said in my heart, thank God these kind of misfortunes will never ever befall me. Little did I know the challenges that were ahead of us.
I became pregnant late 2003 and it was the most exciting news ever. I started spotting very early on in my pregnancy but I didn’t realise that this was an indication of something wrong. During the 3rd month of the pregnancy, I experienced severe bleeding in the bathroom and nearly passed out due to the blood loss. My 3 month old fetus then just fell to the ground. Being in a state of shock I was rushed to the hospital and a D&C was performed. My husband and I were devastated. Once out of the hospital, we tried to overcome the loss we went through by telling ourselves that this pregnancy was not God’s will for us.
We went on with our lives and in 2004, I became pregnant again. Excitement flooded us again when we found out but this lasted only a few weeks. The familiar symptoms arose, I started spotting again at the 2nd month and was admitted to the hospital. I was put on some medication and rested. After a few days I was discharged to go home and was on bed rest. I started bleeding heavily the same night of the discharge. I was rushed to the hospital and when the doctor did a scan the baby had no heartbeat. The doctor decided to immediately do a D&C. We lost the pregnancy at the 2nd month. We were heartbroken once again, and went through the same routine as we did before, encouraging one another and comforting ourselves by saying that this was not meant to be. We continued back with life.
In 2005, I fell pregnant again but I didn’t allow the excitement to get to us. When I went in for a checkup, the doctor said that it was a blighted ovum. Once again, another disappointment. My husband and I started asking ourselves what was happening? Weren’t we faithful to God, going to church every Sunday. My husband was a worship leader in church. We read our bible, tithed and ensured we prayed whenever we could. We were so focused on our works for God and never on what He had done for us.
In 2007 we went for a holiday and when we returned, I found out I was pregnant. This time around we decided to change our obgyn. I went in from the start for my checkups and informed the doctor of my history (first trimester losses). He did all the necessary blood tests and everything was good. He could not say that anything was wrong with me. He started me with some medications ad injections to help secure the pregnancy at the first trimester as my problem seemed to present itself only at the first trimester. And lo and behold I completed my first trimester without any spotting. My husband and I were so excited as we had never gone past our first trimester and this was wonderful. We went out and bought some clothes for the baby. At the 20 week detailed scan the doctor informed us that we were having a baby girl. We were thrilled. At my 21st week, I got up one night with slight cramping. In my mind I convinced myself that it was practice contractions (Braxton Hicks) or maybe I just had a tummy upset as I was totally convinced that my issues were only at the first trimester. The pain persisted so I rubbed some ointment on my tummy but the pain never left. The pain started at 12 midnight and by 7am I started bleeding. I was in a state of panic, I woke my husband up and we rushed to the hospital which was 5 minutes away. I was sent in to the emergency ward and the obgyn on call examined me. He said that my membranes had ruptured and it was hard to save the pregnancy. When a scan was done I saw my baby’s legs hanging out of my cervix. I was in a state of shock .An emergency procedure called a cervical cerclage was performed and I was then heavily sedated with painkillers. At around 12 midnight my water bag broke and my doctor had to remove the cerclage. I gave birth to my baby girl as she was too small to survive outside the womb she did not make it alive. My husband wrapped her up and took our dead baby back home. While I was still recuperating in the hospital, my family had a small funeral service for her and buried her. This was such a traumatic experience for us. I just wanted to die. It felt as if someone had reached into my heart and pulled it out, it hurt that much. My husband and I turned to each other for comfort. We were so tired of life and we wanted to just die. It hurt so much…We couldn’t even pray as we had run out of words. We asked God why He was allowing this to happen but we did not get any answers. With a heavy heart we picked up the broken pieces and continued on with life.
In 2008 I purchased God’s Plan for Pregnancy by Nerida Walker but didn’t pay much attention to it. My husband and I had plans to go to the US and Canada for a holiday that year. We purchased the tickets and applied for our visas. As we were preparing for our holidays, I found out that I was pregnant. This pregnancy really frustrated me as it was unplanned and it would disrupt our holiday plans. I was so angry with myself for getting pregnant and the thought of going through the pain of losing a pregnancy was still so raw to me. I was even tempted to abort the pregnancy. But I carried on and cancelled our plans to the US and Canada with much disappointment. We did some research to find a good doctor and found someone that specialises in treating women with various complications in pregnancies. We went in to see him and after listening to my history of pregnancy losses he came up with a plan on how to treat me for my first trimester. I completed my 1st trimester without much issues and entered my second trimester. During a routine check up at 16 weeks, my doctor found out that my cervix had opened up and surprisingly I wasn’t in any pain. I was rushed to the hospital and was warned not to move out of the hospital bed. I started bleeding profusely in the evening when I tried to go to the bathroom. The doctors immediately performed a cervical cerclage and I rested in the hospital. The doctors said that it might work as my membranes had not yet ruptured. My doctor performed a scan the next day but the baby had no heartbeat. The cercalage was removed and I delivered my baby boy at 16 weeks. The familiar feelings that comes with each losses flooded my husband and I once again. The heart ache and sorrow just swept over my husband and I. He took our little boy back home and when I was discharged, we buried him. Well meaning friends tried to help us by saying that there might be a generational curse in our family that we needed to renounce. My husband and I went on a journey trying to find out from both our parents where things could have gone wrong in our lineage and then we thought that was the key to us receiving our child. Maybe it was some idol worship in the past, or maybe someone had done an abortion and the curse had fallen on my husband and I. So this was our answer to what we went through. Never once did we have a revelation that Jesus had already borne ALL our curses and today as we believe in HIS finished work we are set free. But that revelation was not there for us yet.
During this time my husband and I started burying ourselves in our work as we held good positions in our respective area of work. This caused us to grow further apart from each other. Burying ourselves in work was our way of forgetting the sorrow and pain that we went through during the losses. We didn’t have the strength to comfort each other and this a loop hole in our marriage that allowed the enemy to sneak in and believe in a lie. The lie was that we were not meant to enjoy parenthood and that my husband and I should go our separate ways as we will never find happiness together. We bought into this lie as we did not have a good revelation of Christ and His Finished work for us. During this time my husband traveled a lot for work. This was perfect for us as we started living 2 separate lives. Our communication turned from bad to worse. We also stopped praying, reading the bible and continued going to church when he was around. Christianity wasn’t appealing to me anymore as it involved a lot of works on my part and both of us were tired. We did all the so-called right things but we seemed to be going through so much of heartache.
In 2010 I became pregnant again, this time around my doctor took extra precautions. He said that by the 13th week he would perform a cervical cerclage and it would help me carry the pregnancy full term. He finally diagnosed me with Cervical Incompetence, this is where the cervix opens up prematurely and most times women do not even feel any pain. At 13th week a cerclage was done and I was given treatment to strengthen and hold the pregnancy. Once I passed the 16th and the 24th week I was ecstatic. I told myself the cercalge is holding the pregnancy strong and nothing is going to happen this time around. For all my pregnancies I stayed at home as I was provided with compassionate leave by my office, so having complete bedrest wasn’t an issue. I also used Nerida’s book as a guide. I diligently quoted all the scriptures and said all the prayers. When I look back, they were just vain repetitions made due to my fear of the past losses. I did not have a revelation of the scriptures therefore I wasn’t truly meditating on them for my breakthrough. I got up one morning at my 24th week as there was a strange pain in my belly. I went to the bathroom and there was some pinkish discharge. I felt scared and called up the clinic. I was asked if I had any contractions and I said yes, I was asked to come in to the clinic and they kept me for observation using a CTG machine. My doctor was away for a conference, therefore I was referred to another doctor for care. The CTG didn’t seem to pick up any contractions. By then the pain had already intensified. I was admitted to the hospital and while lying in bed the pain worsened to a point of being unbearable. My husband was abroad for for work during that time and I felt so loss without him by my side. I was given all kinds of medications to stop the contractions but the contractions continued. I was given an injection to help mature the baby’s lungs if the baby was born alive. Despite all the medications, the doctor’s could not prevent me from going into a full blown labor. My water bag broke at night and I was rushed into the operation theater. A neonatal doctor came in to prepare me if the baby came out alive, he asked if I would like the baby to be resuscitated. He informed me of all the complications involved if I had the baby at 24 weeks. It frightened me. The list went on from the baby being blind, deaf, mental retardation etc,etc…it was just too much to handle. What made it worst was the absence of my husband in making a joint decision. After hearing what the doctor had to say, I told him “Doctor please do not resuscitate the baby if she comes out alive”- those the most painful words that I had to utter. I felt so helpless and lost. I gave birth to my baby girl but she did not come out alive. They swaddled her and passed her to me to look at. It was so painful. No words could describe the pain. As my husband was not around, my brother took her back and when I got home we had a funeral service for her. Before I left the hospital, the doctor told me that I will never be able to carry a baby full term as my cervix was too weak and I have there may be an issue of me going into pre-term labor. She said that the only way was to get a surrogate to carry my baby full term or adoption. This was devastating news to me. This was it, I told myself that death was much better for me then going on with life. When we were burying her I felt that I belonged in that grave with her. I cried and cried for days. My husband did not return home immediately as he didn’t want to carry another dead baby back home. Our relationship was so strained that we could not even comfort each other anymore. It came to a point where we did not have much to say to each other.
Early 2011, my husband moved out to another country on his own due to work and I lived my life in Malaysia. This caused us to further drift apart. Sometime in May 2011, things between my husband and I got so bad that we were on the brink of getting a divorce. But the Lord was not going to let this happen. God started doing something in my life. As I was about to walk out of the marriage, I was reminded of the vow I took at the altar and that Jesus was going to partner with me in restoring my marriage. I went to where my husband was and told him where I stood in the restoration of our marriage and that I would not give up no matter what. I returned home and trusted the Lord to give my husband a change of heart. In August 2011, he quit his well paying job and returned home to Malaysia with the thought of trying to salvage what was left of our failed marriage. We never realised that the losses had actually taken such a great toll on us as individuals and as a couple. In November 2011, God began the process of restoring us as individuals, as a couple, our marriage and our home. He showed us the importance of how we needed to establish our home based on the word of God. I took unpaid leave from work and spent at least 5 months with my husband. We spent each day listening to the message of Grace and this gave us a total shift in the way we viewed God. It was no more how much we did for him but rather how much God does for us through Christ Jesus. We had a better revelation of the love of God for us that He was willing to give up his only son so that we may enjoy all of heavens best. Because He gave us his best-Jesus, He will not withhold anything good from us. We spent time meditating on the finished work of Christ at the cross. Once this was at work in us, we walked in such freedom and there was a sense of lightness. The losses of the past were just swept away. The disappointments, the sorrow and sadness was lifted up. My husband and I enjoyed each other and our time together. God restored our marriage to a point that our love for each other was so much more sweeter then it was even before we got married. The cracks that were there before was not visible when Jesus intervened. Having children was not our priority anymore. It had always been a priority too us in the past, charting ovulation dates etc. But we learned to give it all up and just love life. We lived a let go life and enjoyed each moment of it. The whole of 2012 was a time of restoring our marriage.
December 2012, my husband and I went to US/Canada for a holiday. When I got back in January, I found out I was pregnant. This time around the excitement was there but it was filled with hope in the Lord and not what the doctors could do for me. I told the Lord, my trust is not in the medications or my cervix but my eyes are fixed on you Lord and your finished work on the cross. I decided that instead of being in fear, I would go to work and not stay home like previous pregnancies. I was happy, nothing frightened me. I didn’t even go to the doctors till my 3rd month. I was recommended medication for the first trimester but I declined it as I knew in my heart that Jesus was in the midst of the pregnancy and He was going to sustain the pregnancy for the 9 months. At 13 weeks the doctor recommended for a device called a pessary to be inserted at the neck of the cervix to hold it for the 9 months. There was no surgery involved. I was okay with it. The device was inserted and I went home. But not once did I put my trust in the pessary holding the cervix shut. Two days later, there was slight bleeding and I was besieged with fear of losing the pregnancy. We rushed to the hospital but ALL was well. As the 24th week (last loss) was approaching, fear gripped me once again but this time around my husband and I were prepared with the word of God and we knew the price that Jesus has already paid on the cross for us and no way were we going to lose this child as Jesus was holding him and that He will never leave us nor forsake us. Nerida’s book, God’s Plan for Pregnancy, meant so much to me this time around, the scriptures were alive and embedded in my heart. The miscarriage prayer was filled with authority when I said it. Jesus is so, so very faithful. His word is fulfilled to its very last dot. He never failed my husband and I. He who began a good work in us was so faithful to complete it for us! I was meant to deliver my son on 29 September, but God’s appointed time for his arrival was on 31 August 2013. He was born c-section. I remember that day, it was filled with so much of the peace of Christ that I was actually laughing while the c-section was being performed.
Isaac Hanan was born on 31 August 2013 at 1.55pm. Isaac means laughter and Hanan means Grace in Hebrew. We named him that because we are reminded that the Grace of God through Christ has brought much laughter in our lives. God reminds me of being a master builder. He first started working in our lives changing us and perfecting us as individuals. While that was going on he started working on us as a couple and restoring our marriage and our home. He then finally restored our bodies and made us whole to conceive our child and he carried us through the 9 months. While I was carrying Isaac, not once did my cervix shorten. It remained long and shut till the day he was born. My doctor did say for most women that have been diagnosed with an Incompetent Cervix that they would experience some shortening of the cervix during the pregnancy even with a cercelage. It was not the pessary that held the cervix but it was the mighty hands of Jesus. My husband and I are in our 40’s but God is no respecter of age. Our lives will never be the same again as we have tasted the Lord and He is so, so good. All glory and honor goes to Jesus for restoring to us the joy of our salvation.
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I know this Testimony will bless your sox off!
My friend Heidi shares her testimony of conception after chemotherapy and menopause! It’s my prayer after you read this that you will come to know personally for yourself that NOTHING is impossible with God!
You are Already Healed!
Nikki Shares her testimony of how she experienced healing of secondary infertility caused by non-ovulatory cycles. She also shares healing from Placenta Previa where her placenta was relocated from being implanted in her cervix to the TOP of her uterus!
Question: Why is God allowing me to suffer with Barrenness?
Please read my previous blog post to answer this Question further: FAQ – If God is in control, why have I not conceived yet?
The Good News is that God is not “allowing you to suffer”. He has already pre-responded to barrenness through Jesus finished work!